Steven Groves is founder of Social Marketing Conversations and co-author of 'ROI of Social Media', publishing around the world by Wiley & Sons. Subscribe to my blog feed for stuff I decide to blog about.

SDC10091 My oldest child, Steven Groves II, passed yesterday.  The medical examiner has not finished their work, but it appears he succumbed to a battle with drugs.

I’m still working on how these events fit into the journey of my life and those around me, but the outpouring of support from my online and offline community have shown me again, how important it is to be in a community and how critical it is to have friends around you when things are difficult.

Steven did not have any means set aside or insurance to cover his passing, nor did his Mother or I.  Burying a child is just not something I think any of us would plan for.

Francine Hardaway, Joan Kerber-Walker and Lon Safko have set up a Chip-in site for people who are interested and able to help us with the costs.  I’ve promised that any fund remaining after covering costs will be donated to a drug addiction treatment program.

I’ll end my post today by asking you all to just stop – stop whatever you are doing and turn to the people you love (your spouse, partner, child, parent, whomever) and tell them you love them.  I have made it a steady practice in my life with my kids, they were the last word I shared with my son… in all the stream of things I now have to deal with I’m grateful for at least that.

  • http://www.stevewoodruff.com/ Steve Woodruff

    I am very sorry for your loss, Steven. All of us fellow parents understand the feelings of risk and fear that come with trying to grow up our children. Thank for the reminder to tell them that they're loved.

  • http://www.phoenixrealestateguy.com/ Jay Thompson

    Steve – I don't even know what to say. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to your and your family and all Steven II touched. If there is anything you need, or anything I can do, you know how to find me.

  • iamchanelle

    i am so very sorry for your loss.
    thank you for sharing this with all of us, so we could love and pray for you and yours during this time.

    -chanelle richardson

  • dpatricklewis

    Steve,

    I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you are going through right now but please lean on us if you need to. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Sarmishta

    Steve -
    Rest assured of my support and prayers for you and your family. I know it hasn't come easy, but trust me, God knew it and planned it perfectly well for some reason we cannot comprehend now. I hope you and your family will be able to find that important piece to understand why, in time. in the meantime, we, as the online community of people are here with you.

  • joankw

    Steve:

    What a beautiful message.

    Know that you too are loved and appreciated by all of those that you so generously help with your time, your energy and your support. Now the Social Media communitty that you helped to develop and build can do just a little bit to help you as you have so often helped us.

    For those of you that may be visitng for the first time. Steven Groves is an active part of the Phoenix entrepreneurial community. He serves on the board of the Opportunity Through Entrepreneurship Foundation (http://www.otef.org) and has been a driving force behind the scences at all of the Arizona Entrepreneurship Conferences (http://www.azentrepreneurship.com) He generously shares his time and talents whenever we ask. Now, at a time when he needs us, we all have an opportunity to ChipIn.

    You will see on the ChipIn site that OTEF is collecting the donations to support Steve and his family at this sad time.

    Joan Koerber-Walker
    Chairman, OTEF, The Opportunity Through Entrepreneurship Foundation.

  • Dryfly

    I am having difficulty coming up with the appropriate words. Please know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

  • John Muehling

    Steven, it is with a very heavy heart that I say I'm so sorry for your loss…may God help you find a way through this difficult time.

  • Gingerken

    Steven and all the rest of your family and friends, my deepest sympathy for your loss of your eldest son. It is beyond comprenhension to understand how one can deal with the death of a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this tragically difficult time. You are right to remind us to not let a day go by wihout actively letting those we love know that we do.

  • http://www.TheSocialMediaBible.com StevenGroves

    The outpour of support, well wishes, concern and condolences since tis tragic event has been quite heartwarming. Overwhelming at times…

    Thank you to everyone – those closest who have come to visited, the many who have called, left emails or messages here, tweeted and re-tweeted the call for support – everyone who has seen and then felt the tragedy of my sons passing, thank you.

    The experience shows that Steven's passing can be a power for positive response by the larger community – I am so deeply grateful. I'll continue to try to share more as the process unfolds, sometimes it's harder for me than others and I feel I have to get on with my life and work. The process of planning a service for a child is difficult, but now I have some help from his half-sister – very grateful for Heather.

    In closing I'll ask you again to establish the steady practice of saying 'I love you' to those who matter in your lives; from my experience it seems you never know when it might be the last chance you have to do so.

  • Ray Parker

    My sincere condolences to the family. I can only barely imagine the heartbreak of losing a child. That he was loved, and knew it, was perhaps the best gift he could ever have been given.

  • eric palmer

    Im so sorry for your loss please let me know if there is anything I can do

  • Lyle & Susan

    Steven – Susan and I are incredulous and greatly saddened by Steven's passing. As you know, we have a Marine of similar age that continues to serve in harms way, so this struck close to home. We are both thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. Our prayers go out for your sustained strength, lasting good memories, and the healing balm of passing time.

    Lyle & Susan

  • Mike Corn

    I am just so, so sorry Steve.

  • http://www.TheSocialMediaBible.com StevenGroves

    Today is Tuesday, I'm getting through some of the thoughts and emotions that this event has brought on, plowing thru 185 emails and getting involved in the work of setting up the funeral and memorial service.

    Here is what I think is planned; a viewing and funeral service at Shadow Mountain Mortuary (2350 East Greenway Road) on Friday at 5P and a Memorial Service at Unity of Phoenix (16th Street & Greenway – NW Corner) for Saturday at 2P.

    The question on everyone's lips, after an expression of condolence, is “how can I help, is there anything I do?” to which I reply that there is a donation site set up by my friends online that we're trying to defer any of the unexpected expense of Steven's services – and as of the writing of this comment post, is up to $1,835 – Wow is all I have to say… and thank you for your support.

  • Fayandria

    Steve, there are no words and such a hard road to walk ahead.
    You and your family are in my prayers.
    *sitting quietly with you and sending you strength

  • Khristina Roberts

    Hello Mr. Groves. My name is Khristina Roberts, I believe I went to North Canyon with your son. I just wanted you to know that your family is in my prayers and I am sorry for your loss.

  • Anthony/Lynsey

    Steve, you were ALWAYS a smiling face face, No matter what the situation. You were a kind and warm person. We will forever miss you and your bright smile. We will think of you and our happy times together frequently as we always will. Our hearts are forever broken now with our lives without you. However, every time we think about you we laugh and smile. We miss you.

    Love forever
    Anthony and Lynsey

  • Anthony/Lynsey

    Steve, you were ALWAYS a smiling face face, No matter what the situation. You were a kind and warm person. We will forever miss you and your bright smile. We will think of you and our happy times together frequently as we always will. Our hearts are forever broken now with our lives without you. However, every time we think about you we laugh and smile. We miss you.

    Love forever
    Anthony and Lynsey